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Are you finding that sex is either not pleasurable or simply painful? Whatever the case, if you work on it, you can improve your sex life. Steps Setting Up for Success 1 Use safer sex practices.

It can be easier to relax and enjoy yourself if you feel confident that you are practicing safer sex. With this in mind, make a plan to make your sex life as safe as possible.

If you can, before you have sex, get to know your partner, and talk openly about your sexual histories. Use a condom or dental dam every time you have sex, and for the complete act. Polyurethane condoms may break more easily than latex. Use a condom any time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Feeling self-conscious or embarrassed of your body can make sex needlessly uncomfortable.

If you struggle with body image issues that are negatively affecting your sex life, then make it a priority to rectify what you can and accept what you cannot. Accepting your body is key to a happy self and the first step to better sex life. Try looking at yourself in the mirror and make it a point to find a new positive about yourself each day. Women who masturbate have significantly more sexual satisfaction than those who do not [7] Knowing what feels good for yourself will help you communicate your needs to your partner.

Communication with your partner will improve your sexual satisfaction and help with your intimacy. Think about what you can say and still feel comfortable and safe. If your partner is really committed to you, then he or she will be willing to listen and respect your needs.

You need to be open with your partner about your attitudes and feelings toward sex. Being shy or coy will only make your partner feel self-conscious, which can make the experience worse for both of you. It can be scary for both of you to divulge that kind of information, so listen to them without interrupting. If your partner likes something that you are not comfortable with, let them know that you are not interested in it without making him or her feel weird or bad about his or her desires.

These are not clear, and can make it harder for your partner to understand you. Instead of placing the blame on anyone, use "I" statements to express what is unsatisfying about the experience for you.

This can only make the sex better. For example, tell your partner, "I feel as if the sex is too rushed. What can we do to fix this? Instead, it shows that it is something that you can work on together. See his or her pleasure as your goal line. The better you make him or her feel, the more he or she going to want to rise to the challenge.

When you see your partner wince, stop. You might be hurting him or her. When you hear your partner moan, repeat the motion you just did because it probably feels really good. Most importantly, pay attention throughout sex to make sure that your partner is mutually interested in everything you are doing. Consent is an ongoing process. Part 2 Mastering the Act 1 Ditch the porn stereotypes.

Porn is like all other movies: Try to go in with no expectations. Just let things go naturally. You want to enjoy every minute of the entire experience. Enjoy the whole sexual experience. You can also play games with one another to liven up the experience. Always focus on connection and keeping them guessing to make the sex interesting.

Make a point to keep kissing. Returning for a sexy make-out every now and again can be a great way to draw out the experience. Before jumping right to the main event, spend some time kissing, caressing, and pleasing one another. Foreplay can make sex last longer and feel more sensual and romantic. Women especially find that foreplay is helpful in getting them in the right mood, whereas men may be more ready to go at any moment.

It will increase her natural lubrication and make her enjoy sex more. You should make sure that your partner never doubts for a moment that you think he or she is pretty much the hottest thing on the planet, maybe even the hottest thing for the next couple planets. When you see something you like, let your partner know. Let your partner see you enjoying his or her body too. Personal lubrication products can significantly improve sexual satisfaction. Sexual interactions involve a lot of friction and, most of the time, friction is a good.

However, it also has its downsides, such as chafing and discomfort. You can buy lubricants at many local stores and pharmacies as well as online. You can also get them through your doctor or a sexual health clinic. Avoid using scented products or other materials that could cause vaginal dryness, including douches, hand lotions, soaps, or bath oils. Water-based lubricants rinse off easily, and are easy to find in stores. When you are having sex, try to make some noises of appreciation for your partner.

This will heighten his or her enjoyment and also encourage your partner to put in more effort. A recent study reveals that partners who make noise during sex tend to have better sex.

So just do what feels natural and if you feel like making noise, let it loose. To keep it great or make it better, you want to break up the monotony.

Nothing says "goodbye monotony" like silk blindfolds, fuzzy handcuffs, and a fun game of Bad Cop. You should also experiment with sex toys. Including sexual materials in your sex life can improve your satisfaction and most sex toys can be pleasurable for both partners.

Do some research and see what you might be missing out on. Lots of people have very specific sexual fantasies that they are too embarrassed to share with their partners. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, then share your fantasies with one another.

Sex should happen organically and feel spontaneous. Changing sex positions can improve sexual satisfaction. For example, try the cowgirl family of positions.

These are positions which offer more control to women and increase their pleasure. Also try doggy style. Despite the less than appealing name, this position is great for pregnant women and certain types of female stimulation. You can also try the coital-alignment technique. This is a sexual position which has been studied and proven to provide the most stimulation for women, allowing you to both get the most from the experience. It is similar to the traditional missionary, but creates a more pleasurable position for both partners.

If one or both of you has back or joint pain, or if there is discomfort due to penis size, side by side positions can offer more control and comfort. Both partners will be laying on their side facing the same direction for these positions.

There are many variations so find what works best for you. Part 4 Getting Outside Help 1 Find some resources. Look for books written by sex experts. It can also be helpful to look for resources that are geared toward where you are in life; there are resources available for LGBT individuals, older individuals, etc.

Some causes of sexual dysfunction have medical causes, especially for men. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is commonly caused by conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or obesity, although stress can also cause it. Many conditions that cause sexual dysfunction are very treatable. This is perfectly natural. If you continue having sexual problems, seeing a couple therapist who specializes in sex therapy can help.

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